i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
