Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
