Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
