jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
