using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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