Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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