Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
