just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
