"it" just moved
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
