apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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