in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
