I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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