im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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