I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
