Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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