hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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