I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
