i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
