if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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