dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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