Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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