White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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