This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
