I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I intend to get homeless drunk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
