you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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