They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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