I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
