i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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