I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
