Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
