I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
