Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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