I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
