I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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