you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
why do cheetos always look like penises
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
