real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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