CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
