i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
