Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
