hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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