We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
