I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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