her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You can't motorboat a personality
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
