this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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