She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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