Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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