I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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