Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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