Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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