I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
