If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
