I can tuck mytits in my pants
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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