You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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