By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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